he was very young and looked so incredibly sad and beat down by life but most of all i think it was because the boy was transient. it echoed into a part of her that wants for absolutely nothing but to be completely free and relinquished with all the responsibility of being a human being in society. i am no ones dog but my own
the garden was a fair size but connected by concrete steps which led on to a large lawned area that was fenced in by rows of conifers. a bunch of carrots where at the base of one of this rows at the very end on the right side. they were barely rooted and when i pulled them out i could see the deep marks of other roots that had constricted them whilst growing and pulled them from the ground. part of the conifer has come out too and when i went to replant it i found they had no deep roots at all but rather thin stringy hairs that matted together around sand.
i peered over the edge and expected to see the sea but it was not there. i heard my voice tell me that i wanted to live beside it.
she had transitioned with out me and i could not see any of her left in her face or spirit. i looked into her eyes and did not recognise anything
fear and self loathing. today i have mostly being lying on the floor eating bloodclots
Peregrine Falcon and Rock Dove. Photos by Clare
that dove is like ‘shit shit shit shit shit shit’
realmonstrosities: Can’t stop seeing that as a little tongue!